Saturday, November 19, 2011

The shit that happens at my house (when we're stuck inside all day)

The day started out rough.  Mikko was up before 5:00 a.m. for the second day in a row and he was C-R-A-N-K-Y.  When Mikko gets attention for whining, Kaia catches on quickly.  She's even taken to mimicking his non-word sounds to try and get her way.  It didn't take long before Mommy and Daddy were overwhelmed and feeling beaten by their greater (spastic) energy.  I'm not gonna lie, we pretty much let them do whatever kept them from crying all day....and so, our day in pictures, entitled "The Shit that Happens at My House (when we're stuck inside all day)"...

While I'm not huge into routine, I'm kind of a stickler for healthy eating and generally require that my children wear daytime clothes during the daytime.  Some day they'll wonder how my yoga pants qualify as "daytime clothes," but by then, I'm sure I'll come up with some explanation....probably "Because I said so."  So at some point I noticed that they were in their matching jammies (Kaia insists on having all the same feety pajamas as Mikko has) playing in Kaia's bed with a pumpkin bucket from Halloween that found its way back up from the garage recently and eating Reese's Pieces.  And, for what it's worth, it wasn't that early, but no doubt probably not an appropriate time for candy, like after they've at least had a meal.

There's really only one way to watch tv in this house....

 Well, alright, there are two ways, but both clearly involve laundry baskets.  And no, I don't get credit for my house being chaos because I was busy doing chores, like laundry, because I was not.  I was busy taking pictures of my nutjob kids, a most time-consuming hobby.

This was  the highlight of my night, probably because I had already started drinking wine at this point.  The kids pulled out every stored grocery bag we had in the house.  Kaia starts throwing them over her head yelling, "Snowing! Snowing!"  Kevin does NOT enjoy this game.  I LOVE it.  While I realize it's a pain in the ass and there's probably a choking hazard we should consider, they will play like this, uninterrupted and nicely for like 20 minutes.  Note that Kaia is wearing her Dorothy costume while Mikko is sporting the one-leg-up sweatpants thing.  My kids are COOL.
And just so there's no misunderstanding, this was about 15 minutes before Mikko's bedtime and, yes, they're eating cake.  There's no doubt these little rockstars are my kids.  They love cake.

So here's what I missed with my camera today.  Can you believe that with all this mayhem there's more that went uncaptured?  Not long after my grocery trip with Kaia that was cut short just after the produce section because someone decided to have a hissy fit and someone's mommy was NOT into dealing with it, I found the two of them spinning in circles in the living room.  They were giggling their tiny butts off when I realized that Mikko had a balloon string wrapped around his neck...twice....and when Kaia, who was holding the weight, spun, Mikko had to too.  I put a stop to that game and no one was happy about it.  Poor Mikko looks like a strangulation survivor.

I also managed to miss Mikko refusing to take his Tylenol, and by refusing, I mean getting all of it in his mouth and hanging his lower lip so that it all went running down his chin, neck and jammies.  It was like a horror flick in my living room.

And, last but not least, during her bath tonight, Kaia decided to test the faucet pressure with her tongue.  Imagine that first snowfall of the year and, like a child, you stick your tongue out with your eyes facing expectantly upward.  Now instead of a weightless snowflake landing on your tongue, picture a faucet running at full pressure down your throat.  There was much sputtering, eye watering and laughing.

I should start drinking at 4:30 every day.  Everything is so much more funny.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A quiet moment

I have a big trial today.  I'm not looking forward to it.  I've been at the office in the evenings or on weekends more in the last month than I have in probably my entire career put together.  I'm CRABBY!  Thankfully, it's all over after today (at least until the next big thing comes) and I'm looking forward to that.  In the meantime, I'm CRABBY!

This morning as I was getting my mini monsters ready, they were taking full advantage of their energy and my lack thereof.  I was at the office until 11:00 p.m. and up at 5:30 a.m.  It's going to be a long day and the games weren't nearly as funny this morning as they sometimes know, on Saturdays when I have nothing to do.  So I finally get the kids dressed, pick up the oatmeal they refused to eat (much of which was on the floor when I came back into the room), wrangle them to put on shoes and jackets and strap them into their car seats.  Kev comes down to say goodbye and we took a moment next to the car.  He kissed me, I leaned into him, thankful that this day will be over soon and that he's remained patient with my obligations recently.  Both kids are looking at us curiously and I remarked, "Little monsters.  They're so cute when they're strapped into a car that I haven't gotten into yet."

They proceeded to scream and pout the entire way to Grandma's house.  At least, as like most things they do, they were playing.  

Monday, November 7, 2011

The playground and my blood pressure

The park.  This place is a child's dream and a parent's nightmare.  The super duper playground by our house has both a slide (yay) and an opening straight to the ground (damn) at every platform.  All.  Six. Platforms.

I'm not particularly religious, but places like this make me believe that there is someone out there pointing and laughing at me.  See, I was blessed with a very cautious little girl.  She's dainty, unless she's throwing shit, but for the most part, she's very careful.  I didn't make her that way.  In fact, I was a tree-climbing kind of kid and hope that mine will be know, when they're older, won't fall and I don't have to watch.  Then I was blessed with a son who is, well, a boy.

So, picture this.  Kaia climbs up the low stairs with Mikko close behind.  Kaia climbs up the short ladder to the tunnel.  Mikko follows.  They stop in the center of the tunnel, I bang on the clear walls and get them good and riled up.  Then Kaia goes left and Mikko goes right.  Uh oh.  So I let Kaia be because she's less likely to walk off the edge of a platform without at least an attempt at holding on to the fireman's pole or monkey bars. I duck beneath the second tunnel to get to the platform between them before Mikko makes it to the edge.  Phew, I caught him before he dove and instead he dives into the second tunnel.  Meanwhile, Kaia is calling me because she wants me to catch her at the bottom of the slide.  I turn around to realize that she's at the top of a VERY high platform, the tallest at the park, and is literally so high that I'm a little sick to my stomach over it.  I imagine her terror (undoubtedly, delight) and rush over to where she's climbing into a gigantic tube slide.  I rush her because I have literally no idea where her brother is.  She finally comes down, her skinny little butt isn't heavy enough to propel her down and she has to scoot from about half way.  I see Mikko's head pop up out of the tunnel and, when he sees me, he turns and runs.  I run through the cedar chips, ducking to avoid, unsuccessfully, bumping my head on metal bars of various shapes, sizes and configurations.  I get to the opening where I last saw my little boy's floppy hair and big grin and he's no where to be seen.  Just then I hear banging on the clear plastic walls of one first tunnel that I had just run underneath.  Both little monkeys are inside, giggling their insane little heads off.

The kids love the playground, but Mommy's blood pressure can't handle it.  The only day I ever took them to the park by myself, when I finally got them safely strapped into their carseats, I sat in the front seat, turned the Disney CD up really, really loud, and balled my eyes out.  Being a mom is really hard.